My Review On Queen Of the South

I will admit it. At first I was a little skeptical about watching Queen of the South. A few days ago I ran across the actually trailer. Once I was a business woman/entrepreneur I was sold. Once I saw that she was a minority I was sold even more.

For those of you who did know what this show is or what it’s about, it’s about a woman who gets romanically involved with a drug dealer and her life just goes downhill from there.  I was only looking to be entertained, but I did learn a few things in watching this show.

1. There is never an excuse to give up.

The main character’s name is Teresa. She is truly a surviver. She had every reason to give up, but she didn’t. She got placed in tough situations and had to figure a way out. 

Life will throw us lemons. We must never give up. We must stay persistent in our efforts, knowing that better days are ahead. 

2. If you want it you will go after it.

Nothing is promised to anyone and everyone wants something. It’s not anyone’s job to hand you over what you want. Getting what you want takes getting off your butt, and doing uncomfortable things. She wanted freedom and to help her friend as well. 

3. Risks can cost you everything, but are necessary.

If you never take a risk you will never know. Taking a risk doesn’t mean the timing will be right. Taking a risk does not mean that everyone will support or like what you are doing.

4. You determine if you want to live.|Everyday is a fight.

Everyday is a fight. You’re either going to get in the fight or gain nothing.

 5. You have to think quick on your feet.

Every situation can’t be planned and will not go as planned. You have to be able to think quickly on you’re feet.

6. Networking is one of the keys to success.

Who you know is more powerful than what you know. Get out and build relationships with people. Create your own circle of friends and acquaintances.

8. Sometimes you will be put in situations you dont want to be in, but detemine how you will get out.

Sometimes we will be thrown into situations we didn’t ask for. You either roll with the punches or get punched. Being in a situation you didn’t ask for gives you no excuse to not be your best anyway.

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Why Are You Afriad To Make A Profit?

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear people say the following in regards to their business:

  • “I don’t want to charge too much.”
  • “I don’t want to rip people off.”
  • “I don’t want to be/get rich.”
  • “I’m not trying to be wealthy.”

And anything a long those lines. I think people like that truly don’t get the concept of business. I also believe they repeat what they have heard themselves. They also have probably heard that rich and wealthy people are all crooks and that evryone had to do something crooked to become rich and wealthy. 

The truth is, we will never know every persoms full story to how they got to the you. What I can tell you is that we are all in charge of our own story and our own walk. Even the impossible can be possible with hard work, thinking, and strategy. Of course along the way it won’t be easy and we will have to be form and assertive. That’s a part of life. Life is a balance of negative and positives.

Ok now, let’s get back to the subject at hand. People are afraid or don’t realize that they are afraid to make a profit. You cannot grow as a company of you are not profiting. You will not be able to develop and build more skills without profiting. You cannot change the things you would like to see in the community and in the world without a profit. 

I am not saying that you have to charge over the top prices, but you do deserve to charge for your time, your quality, your education, etc. properly. Too often people undercharge themselves and never make any money. Making money is key keeping a business up and running. Non-profits a but differnt, but it still takes money from somewhere to properly fund a business.  

Please keep this in mind when pricing your products and services. You are spending time away from family. Some of you are risking your day jobs. Some don’t have a secure job to fall back on. If you want to see change and if you want to see growth, you have go to make a profit. Its not a bad thing. Its actually good. Change your mentality and you will change you life. In some cases you can even end up changing your neighborhood, or the world.

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Flashback: My Autobiography Paper From College

It’s always fun to look into the past a bit, especially when you’re a writer. Seeing the perspective you use to have vs. the one you have now. I ran into am autobiography I had to write in college. It’s not perfect, and honestly, I don’t know how I got an A, but instead of focusing on what it could have been I focused on what it was. In my own opinion, I think I had beautiful mind and was very ambitious. I was a leader that just need shaping and molding. Although some of the things I wrote down didn’t happen, I am still proud of myself and eager to see if I can still make most if not all of them happen.

Want to read it? Here it goes!

Looking into my eyes, you can see my heart and soul. Here lies strength, determination, and passion. I’ve never given up on a goal, and I don’t plan to starting. Once I have accomplished one goal, I feel that it’s time to start on the next one. In this autobiography, I not only want you to read who I am; I want you to feel who I am.

Since I was a little girl my dream has always been to be successful. When I saw something I wanted. or knew what I wanted; nothing would ever stand in the way of my achieving what I sought out to get. Since I was five years old, my desire was to be an entertainer. I could sing and dance very well. I had all of the characteristics of a true performer.  Plus I also had a nice face to look at, so why not pursue it? Behind closed doors I would sing and dance in my room as if it was practice for the day I would get my opportunity to shine. Soon the day of opportunity did come. By the age of sixteen I had become lead singer for my church choir. By seventeen I had won a talent show, show cased at one of my high school pep-rallies, and had formed my own dance group. My dream has just begun to start.

In high school I always was lively and sociable. I got along with everybody. For me it was not hard to get to know somebody. I was on the cheer-leading squad my eleventh grade year, and loved it! I got the opportunity to get to know the girls on my squad and meet girls from other squads. My twelfth grade year came around, and I would have been dance captain for the squad, but I had a job that wouldn’t allow time for that. The same went for when I had made the all-star band’s dance team. I worked at Sonic Drive-In that year. On May 16. 2006, I walked across the stage to receive my high school diploma. It felt good receiving something that I worked hard for. On August 25, 2006, I moved into my dorm room on Heidelberg campus. I had accomplished one of my many goals. I got into college.

I’m from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, so moving to Ohio was a very big change for me. Ohio was something new and different. I got accepted into four colleges in Ohio. Out of the four I leaned towards Heidelberg the most, for financial aid reasons. My Mom saw that northern exposure would benefit me the most and forced me to move. The goal was to expose me to other cultures and ways of life that differed from my own.

I am majoring in communications (Journalism) with a minor in Psychology. I felt that Psychology would compliment my Communications degree. Psychology allows you to understand the though process of others. Communications is a no brainer. I am a writer. Writing is something I do naturally.

Once I have completed my undergraduate degree, I don’t plan on stopping there. I plan to get my Master’s and Ph.D. While reaching for those goals I plan on jumping into the field of communications. I would love to be a columnist. I would also like to be a radio DJ. I would also like to teach choreography on the side.

When I choose to settle down and have a family, I would like to become a freelance writer. I want to do freelance writing because I want to be able to be there for my husband and children. Also, during that time I would like to write books. I would also like to develop my own dance studio. I am a writer, thinker, singer, poet, goal setter, and dancer. These are the things that make me, KoRussia McCaleb, who I am. I am glad I can share with you.

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Flashback: Hurt, Pain, and Anger (Poem)


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My Movie Role|Meeting Ethan Hawke|Walk By Faith Not By Sight

Sewww…I will be the first to tell you that having faith is not easy. Especially when it feels as if your entire world has been flipped upside down. I said that when I first started this journey, it felt like God just threw me in the wilderness, told me to survive, and then left. It can feel that way. It can get rough. Sometimes you can’t see the actual progress you are making. Sometimes all we can see is the pain we are going through.

Pain has a way of giving the illusion that there I is no progress. Pain gives us the illusion that what we actually did was wrong, or that we made the wrong decision. What we don’t stop to actually think about is in order for progress and success to happen, there will be pain. Pain brings about beautiful things. For example, a woman gives birth…it’s painful but afterwards you get to raise this beautiful being. After you have went through the pain you reap the rewards.

What I was going to do at first was post this to my social media captioned “My first paycheck for being in a movie…note I said my FIRST! I believe there will be more to come. Yet. Something would not allow me to post. The Devine Spirit told me that if you’re going to post that, your going to tell the whole story…the real story. This is not for your own attention, but to activate encouragement and faith in, someone else. This is to show my work and your obedience.
You ready? I have a testimony of faith. I really and truly hate exposing myself because you never know what happens next, but I have been challenging myself to be obedient and activate my courage.

Here is the story:

So, I decided to take my LinkedIn account more seriously. One day while scrolling I saw an advertisement calling for extras to be in a movie. I thought this was a neat opportunity. I filled out the application to be an extra. I thought that many people were applying too so they wouldn’t contact me. I was wrong. I did get an email! The email gave details of what I need to wear and where I needed to be. I thought that my afro would be an issue. Which I was also wrong about when I sent them a photo of myself. My afro was actually perfect. I knew it wasn’t a paid, but I was excited. I would get to meet a celebrity and at least it was an opportunity to do something I only dreamed about doing.

I will be honest. That morning I started having doubts and getting nervous. I was a substitute teacher and I said to myself, “I should go in and get paid instead of wasting an entire day and not get paid.” I decided to ignore my negative thoughts and actually see what would happen if I went against my negative thoughts. The only one who had been keeping me from living in my calling was me. I knew that.

So, I arrived on set. I had a black shirt on with jeans. I had brought a backpack with other clothes in it just in case what I had on wouldn’t do for the role. I had a black shirt on. Something within me told me to change my shirt. Black is for people who don’t want to be seen. I had a floral top that I had sewen. I changed in my car into that top.

I walked into the holding spot. I asked questions to all that were work as to what I needed to do. There were A LOT of people in this place mind you. People both young and old were in this place.I kept receiving compliments on my top, by the people who were working on the movie. I even went over to the stylist and asked her how she got started. I was interested in the fashion aspect of things.

After a few placements of everyone and instructions on what we all need to do, their team they asked me if I wanted a part in the movie. Ummm…hell yeah! Like who is going to turn that down. It wasn’t a speaking role, but I would be a waitress. They changed me into boots and another top. Everyone else waiting in holding, but I actually go to go where they were shooting the movie. I saw how the scenes were being filmed. I enjoyed great snacks and drinks. Can you imagine Ethan Hawke walking in front of you. Yes! I was in the same space as Ethan Hawke. Really nice guy by the way.

I did my part. I got to meet and network with other people who were extras regularly. It was really cold at times, but overall…I enjoyed myself. Also, I found out at the end that I was getting paid for my time. The pay was actually more than what I would have gotten if I  had went in to sub that day. I got an autograph and to briefly talk to Ethan Hawke, who told me my name was cool, by the way! lol I will never forget this day. I am glad in every way I took a leap of faith and that I listened to my instincts.

 

Here are some pictures from that day below:

Sew Russia: My First Prom

I can’t believe it took this long for me to post this to my blog. It has just been sitting in my drafts for the longest! Sorry about that. I sewed my first prom gowns this year and I am very proud of myself. Read the story below.

I am sewww excited about writing this. I just recently sewed my first prom gowns. I was so very nervous during this process. I have made errors in the past that made me want to give up and just sew for myself. With the encouragement of family, friends, clients and followers, I decided to continue to push.

Being creative isn’t easy. Having a business I have learned is even harder. You have good days and bad days. Bad days seems to outweigh the good, but it comes down to how bad you want your dream. Are you willing to push through the bad days? Are you only willing to work when it feels good, or are you willing to do the uncomfortable?

This experience was worth seeing those bright smiles. These girls looked AMAZING in their gowns. I cannot wait to sew more gowns! Take a look at more photos below.


My Natural Hair Journey

How was it starting my natural hair journey? Many people look at my hair now and admire it so much. I receive endless compliments on my hair and how it looks on me. I have had people stop me out of nowhere and ask me what products do I used. I have even had people almost run me over with their buggie (That’s what we call a shopping cart here in Louisiana) admiring my hair. The journey to get to this point was all, but glamorous and pretty. It was tough actually.

I had hit a rough patch. I was 26 years old. I did not know what was going on with my body and my surroundings. It felt like everything was slipping out of my hands. It was hard to remember things. I was hard to get things on track. Finally; after all of my years of hard work and trying to prove that I was a great leader, someone had finally taken a chance on me and gave me the position as property manager. I had done well. However, I was not balancing my life well. My healthy was failing, my home was chaotic, but my financial situation was amazing and so was my property. What was more important? I couldn’t see what I was losing when I thought I was gaining.

I found myself neglecting my values and trading my beliefs to meet financial goals. If I look back on how I handled things I would truly say that I sold my soul. No one on Earth deserves that much of me. If my job needed something, I made sure that I put whatever was going on, or needed in my personal life on hold to accomplish what they needed. After all, most people act like their request just cannot wait. It has to be done now or it will be the end of the world. That’s not so true. I hate that it took being admitted into the hospital and seeing the look of fear on every one of my family member’s faces for my mentality to change.

When I went natural, I was down stairs in my kitchen. I was highly stressed. My husband was upstairs showering and I think my daughter was watching movies or sleep. I was downstairs alone. I had tears in my eyes. I was stressed and full of fear. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was not happy. I was not happy with who I had become. I took scissors to my hair. I just started cutting. I didn’t cut my hair bald, but I cut it very low. Everyone was shocked. I was relieved.

As I look back on it I realized that the cutting symbolized having to cut things out of my life in order to grow. I ended up cutting a long term best friend out of my life. It hurt me to my core, but it was necessary. I ended up quitting my job. I ended up distancing family members and blocking people who did not align with my journey. It’s not that they are bad people, but there was no alignment and I could not grow if I kept attachments that weren’t meant to be on my path.

More than anything I just wanted a good life. I wanted friends and family I could grow with. I wanted to be around people who wanted to discuss goals and dreams. I wanted to be around people who weren’t just looking out for themselves. I wanted a real career that I could thrive in. I wanted to look good and feel good. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to grow. More than anything on this Earth, I don’t want any more regrets. I don’t want to go backwards. I only want t move forward in a good way. Today I can actually that things are not perfect, but much better than they were are that point. My natural hair is more than hair to me. It symbolizes growth that I couldn’t have achieved without hitting rock bottom first.

What To Do When People Reject You.

Nobody likes rejection. Rejection can be hard for everyone. Who wants to be told “NO”? Who wants to feel like they are not valued? Does anyone like to be looked over for another person? So what do you do when these types of situations occur? You rejoice! What? You have to be thinking that I am a crazy person by now huh? No, I am serious. Be happy. Rejoice. Being rejected allows one of two things to happen. You either get to move on, or you get to prove yourself.

Build your own door! Being rejected means you don’t have to get stuck with a situation that probably wasn’t meant for you in the first place. Sometimes we think we need certain things. Sometimes we think that what we feel is best IS best. Sometimes we think that we have the right idea about our journey. The truth is, sometimes the things we want is not what we need. Sometimes what we think is best is not. Sometimes we don’t have the right idea about our journey.

We find ourselves going in one direction not realizing that it’s the wrong way. Life has a way of redirecting us and it’s not always in the most comfortable way. We have got to learn to embrace and accept rejection for our own growth. You heard that right! Rejection enhances our growth. We may not see it from the start, but as we keep pushing forward with our goals and dreams it becomes clearer.

So when people reject you embrace it. Sometimes it’s meant for you to push pass the no’s. Sometimes it is meant for you to build your own door. We all have a place here. Life is about getting to our place of purpose. Everyone wants to live in their purpose. Everyone wants to have some type of meaning to their life. Acceptance and rejection comes within our journey to figuring out our lives. Accept and embrace rejection, but don’t allow it to hold you back. Never give up. Never stop. Keep pushing forward.

Is There A Such Thing As Being Too Nice?

I have learned in my adult years that there is a time and place to be nice. Being nice is not always appropriate for every setting and situation. Sometimes being aggressive, stern, and firm is necessary to protect your well being. Growing up, you hear that you should be nice to everyone you meet. You may hear that even when people are being mean to you, you should STILL be nice to them. Always be kind. In most cases we are never taught how we should deal with a situation when we are being nice, but have to deal with a difficult and/or mean person. I personally, have had to learn to master this the hard way. I am still learning myself.

It is a great trait to be nice. To have a nice heart does not mean you are weak. To be nice to someone when they are being difficult to you does not mean that you are silly. Having a great heart and a soft spot is great, but it can become a burden.  It can even be unhealthy if we allow that part of us to always dominate. We have to learn when it’s appropriate to be nice, and when it’s not.

Just like children, adults will try to test you. People will test you to see how much you will allow them to get away with. People will walk all over you if you will allow them to. Everyone was not raised the same. What may be normal for them may not be normal for you. What they are ok with may not be something you are ok with. We live in a time where people either don’t know how to respect other people’s boundaries, or they don’t want to. We live in a time where people are all about themselves, and could care less to help the next person.

We are living and dwelling amongst souls that are lost, misguided, that are hurt, and that are torn. You never know what you are going to get when you meet and have to co-exist with others. Some people you can rub off on and some people cannot be touched due to the barrier that is around them. Those people, the ones with the barrier…distance them if you can. They are not interested in seeking a solution to their pain. They want to soak in their misery and take others along for the ride.

Putting your foot down does not mean that you have to get out of character. It doesn’t mean that you have to do bad things to people. It doesn’t mean you have to say bad things to people. You can firmly do what is necessary to protect your spirit and surroundings. You want to be able to affect people with your kindness. You don’t want to get infected with other people’s pain. So yes, I am saying there is such a thing as being too nice and too open. Having peace means to protect your space.

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Why I Didn’t Trust God

This may be the most transparent I have ever been. I did not want to admit this. I was embarrassed to write this. I was afraid, not because I was truly afraid, but because I was afraid of what people would think of me. I think that is the stupidest reason to not do something ever. Especially when there are people out there who feel the same way, but feel muted.

For years in my adulthood I did not trust God. Oh my gosh! What did she say? Yes. I said I DID NOT TRUST GOD. As a child it came so easily to me. Of course, I was still under to comfort of my mother’s care. I didn’t have much responsibility of my own. I did pay for my school, car note, car insurance, etc., but I did not have rent/mortgage or other major bills. I still had a safety net. My Mom always said, “One day you won’t have me to catch you. One day you will have to have a relationship with God on your own”. Of course, my young mind took heed, but not as much as I felt I should have.

So when it came to the time that I had to trust God to get me through hardships… I didn’t. I didn’t believe that God was for me like other people. After all, I kept seeing and hearing about everyone getting these great blessings, but not me. Why not me? I have one of the kindest hearts. I would give anybody anything. I would help anyone. I hardly ever tell anyone No. What was wrong? I questioned if there was a God at all. I thought that if I wanted something done I would have to do it myself. I had a very bad attitude about God.

I went through years of what was struggle and not overcoming. I was going in a downhill spiral, which we all feel at some point regardless of if you believe in God or not. The problem was that I wasn’t seeing these blessings I heard so much about being played out in my own life, so I became discouraged. I became torn. I had no faith. I felt like if God existed and loved me so much…why is this happening? Why is all of these things being allowed? Why are the people, who in my eyes were doing wrong, getting rewarded, and I wasn’t.

Well I realized a few things as I eventually evaluated myself and what I was doing. The number one most important thing that I hadn’t done was taken a leap of faith. God told me to quit my job. I said no. A few hours later, the same day, I got fired. I rejected my leap of faith. Second, I failed to fellowship. I had become so beaten and bruised by the words and actions of others, that I completely shut myself out from others? What do I mean? How can I possibly do that? If there was a room full of people I would purposely sit  on the opposite side. I didn’t talk to anyone unless they talked to me first. I did not go outside the house. If I was invited to events I wouldn’t show up. I did not want to talk to or communicate with anyone for fear of being hurt. I did not want to feel pain. I did not want to feel anger. I was selfish. I didn’t want to share my gifts with anyone. I knew what I possess and what I am capable of, but I did not want to share that with the very people who doubted and underestimated me. I was tired of being rejected when I know that I am great and that my skills are great. I was tired of not being given a chance. I was tired of waiting. I keep hearing these tales of breakthroughs, but I never saw them.

I stopped praying out of anger. I stopped taking care of myself. I fell into a depressive state. It was tough. My health was failing and I didn’t know if I was dying or if I was going to live. I didn’t know which direction to turn or what to do. Everything became chaotic. I felt I was losing control of everything. I did not trust God to bring me through, until I HAD TO trust God to bring me through. Today my health is getting better. I am actually making connections. I am sharing my gifts and everything that is in me. I surrendered and am taking a walk of complete faith without knowing what’s coming next. I have accomplished more in 3-4 years than I have in 8-9.

Nobody is perfect. We all fall, but we all can get up. We all have flaws, but there is beauty in the mist of the flaws. Stepping out on faith is just as much of a risk as going to college or taking on a job. I have realized this. We put more faith in things that don’t guarantee success for us, and that are possibly temporary. However, we refuse to trust the creator who created us.

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