Where Was I 10 Years Ago?

Where was I 10 years ago? Ten years ago I was not in a good place. I felt hopeless. I felt like my future was shattered. I felt discouraged. I felt my confidence withering away. 10 years ago was the beginning of dismantling the old me and preparing me for transformation.

There are things that I would have liked to change in my journey, but I am sure that if I did I wouldn’t be where I am today. It was hard and it was a struggle. I was super young and the direction that I wanted for myself total seemed impossible. It seemed that the dreams and goals that I and made for myself were silly and unattainable. It’s sad to look back and see myself at that type of low. I was doing all kinds of things to try to hide the pain that I was feeling.

I have learned that the best form of healing is dealing. We have to learn to deal with our pain. We have to learn how to turn our pain around for the use of good. I believe that our pain is not only ours. It’s meant to be used to empower ourselves and as well as others. I wish I would have had a different outlook on things at that time. I wish I would have caught on to all that I know now. Then again, maybe everything that is happening at this time is meant to happen at this exact moment and at this exact time.

The good news is, instead of becoming bitter about it all I choose to empower and pour positive energy into others. I know that you can’t please everyone; everyone will not agree with you, people will not always receive you and what you have to say, etc. Still, I try to be the type of person I wish I had around. Now I won’t say I didn’t have my days where I felt moody and low. Everyone goes through the motions. It’s life. Its normal, but you don’t stay there. You have to gather yourself to push through your pain.

My Biggest Regret

We all have had or have regrets. We all have things stored inside of our minds that we wish we had executed or said. No one is perfect. No one will completely get everything right all of the time. WE ALL HAVE REGRETS.

I would have to say that one of my BIGGEST regrets is giving up on my dreams to be an adult. I thought that being an adult meant that you could not do the things that were fun to you, and that came to you naturally. I thought things that came to you naturally and easy were wrong, and that it would never lead to success. I thought that life would have to be hard all of the time in order to survive it. I thought a lot of negative and wrong things.

Now at this stage in my life I think that the way that I thought then was silly and immature. I think that it was unsuccessful thinking, which was setting me up for destruction. However, looking back, at that specific time in my life I did not have positive surroundings. It can get very complex when you don’t have the right circle,  or the right people around you who believe in the same things you do. 

A lot of people think that following your dreams is a silly and tedious task that will cost a lot of money. Well, let’s look at it this way, so will going to school for 2-4 years. Even with that you’re still not guaranteed to get a job at all, or one that pays you what you deserve. It does not work like that for everyone. People are hiring people mostly for who they know, and least of all for what you know. Which I think is a HUGE gamble, because the survival of any company depends upon those who are truly qualified, and dedicated to help it thrive. Note I said thrive…not survive. Surviving means doing what it takes to make it. Thriving means to go beyond that.

So it is my promise to myself to value my own gifts and wisdom regardless of who doesn’t. I have seen more growth with starting a business of my own than I have in working for someone else. When I worked for someone my ideas were pushed aside, in some cases stolen, my intelligence was belittled, I was underestimated, I was not giving an opportunity to move up, etc. I had to fight ridiculously, and still saw no results. With my natural born gifts all I have had to do is create it, create a strategy, and put it out there.

No path is going to be all laid out for you. No path is going to be easy, but I do feel that we will be eventually lead in the direction that is meant for us, whether we reject it or not. We will have to come to peace with our destiny, and what’s means for us. I am learning that what’s meant for us is not always the pictures that are painted to us by society. It’s the pictures that are painted inside of the heart and soul.

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My Thoughts On The Orignal Black Panther Party

I watched the Black Panthers Documentary on Netflix this week. So many thoughts ran through my head about this short film. I don’t even know where to begin. As an African-American dark skin woman, I can say that there definitely are injustices and discrimination that still go on today. It’s just crazy to me. I do agree with people having the right to protect themselves from harmful environments. Not everyone has good intentions, and even good intentions don’t always come out in a good way.

I think it was very sad to see how people were being treated openly. It was sad to see one set of people trying to keep the other at ground level to satisfy their ego and well being. So they felt they had to do things that way.

However, on the upside, I think that the programs that they created were phenomenal and inspiring. It inspired me to want to be more proactive. It was beautiful seeing a community come together in fellowship. It was inspiring to see people getting along for the greater good. It was great to see the poor and unfortunate being helped against a system that was designed to destroy them. It was great to see confidence and an uprising despite the challenges that they had faced. Still today there are poor and unfortunate people that need help. It seems that in today’s society people are least like to care than they once were.

I think what everyone in this world is meant to be free. People want to be valued. People want to live a good life. People want to be respected and treated fairly. People want to be able to eat. People want to be able to raise their children in a world that is mostly good. Most people want the best and some people feel they have to step on and oppress others to get it.

This may be true, I have learned in my adult life that equality and fairness cannot be applied to every situation. How you want to be treated and what another person will allow maybe two total opposites. However, boundaries must be set and a system should be created that is in favor of all not just those who came, saw, and, conquered. I think that the Black Panthers documentary, although it did have its downsides, was a brilliant explanation of what the organization was and what it originally stood for.

The organization wanted to end street bullying (Basically). The organization wanted to help the community’s and their children. There were great motives behind forming this organization. They were fearless, courageous, and they did not have to do what they did. They wanted a better environment and world just like anyone else.

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Why It’s Important To Step Outside Of Your Comfort Zone


I will not say that I am completely perfect in this area. Getting out of my comfort zone has scared me most of my life. We all want to be comfortable. We don’t want to feel any pain. We don’t want to go through any hardships. We don’t want to struggle. Who wants to do any of that? It’s not fun and it doesn’t feel good. Why would anyone want to do that?

Well, believe to or not growth is on the other side of the comfort zone. We cannot grow if we are always comfortable. We cannot gain knowledge, connect with people, build a better life, and in some cases have fun, if we are always comfortable. Life is a balance of ups and downs. Everyday won’t be a good day. What I have also learned as an adult…every path won’t be straight and narrow. Every situation will not be laid out on the table.

Sometimes you will have to figure things out. Sometimes you will have to say and do things that are not popular. Some of the things you will have to say and do will scare the mess out of you. You will never grow if you don’t push through the fear and the “what if’s”. Our minds can play tricks on us at times. It will tell us that we are not capable of doing things and that we shouldn’t do things. We are tricked, by our minds, into thinking that is the right way to go. What I have learned in my adult years is sometimes doing the “right thing” is not the right thing.

I have learned that not all planned things are carried out successfully. You have to know how to impromptu and roll with the punches at times. Getting what you want will never be easy. It will never be a skip across a field of roses. You have to be willing to get dirty and messy (Figuratively and in some cases…literally). Getting out of your comfort zone is necessary for growth, moving forward, and accomplishing goals/tasks. You will ever know what you can become if you never get out of our comfort zone.

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Sew Russia:The Book That Influenced My Life


One of the books that has influenced my life is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.  At first when looking at the title my thought was…”I really don’t care if people like me or not.” Despite my arrogance about the title, my soul challenged me to look beyond what I was just reading with my eyes. Maybe there was a deeper meaning and something to be learned. Of course, as we all do…I had it ALL WRONG.

By no means was Dale asking you to kiss anyone’s butt. He was urging his readers to pick and choose their battles carefully. He was challenging his readers to be strategic. You know that old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey”? Everything begins and ends in the mind. I think his message overall was if we can control our minds, actions, and words; we can end up getting more of what we want than what we have been accustomed to.

I think that this book, even decades later, is pure brilliance. Personally, it challenged me to think a bit more. It challenged me to use my mind in a way that I never thought of. It challenged me to discipline my thoughts before the words come out of my mouth. Every situation does not have to be an ugly battle. I think we either lose sight of that, or some people simply just do not know that.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to change their life. I definitely recommend this book to entrepreneurs. Anyone who wants to become an influencer should read this book. This book will definitely help you gain more insight. You will see growth as you apply the knowledge given in this book.

Here is a photo of the hard copy I have at home:

Enjoy!

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K.SLaughter’s Guide To Measuring Yourself

Measuring yourself is really easier than it looks. It’s a very simple process. So simple that even my six year old knows how to measure herself.

In this guide I am going to take you step by step (With pictures of course!) in showing you how to measure yourself accurately. We are only going to use the basic measurements, the bust, waist, and hips.

You’re going to need to purchase measuring tape to take your measurements. You can purchase this from Wal-Mart or any local craft store for about $0.97-$2.00.

You need to measure your bust area. The bust is the the fullest part of your breast/chest. The fullest part would be the highest part/at the nipple area. Please make sure that you have on a bra when doing this. This will help ensure accuracy. 

The picture below is a picture of the back area. It should be in line with the front area (It should not be high up or very low. It should meet with the front bust area.)

Next you need to get your waist measurement. It is right above the belly button or under. You take this measurement where you want the top of the bottom garment to sit. 

Last is your hip measurement. This area is around the fullest part of your butt. 

The number you will record with all of these measurements is where the beginning of measuring tape meets the ending. Record where the silver piece lays/stops (The piece before the #1)

I hope this guide was very helpful to you!

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Sew Russia: Business Templates

I am sewww excited about these days uisbess template bundles I created. When I was in the property management industry I created flyers, memos, etc. for the companies I worked for. I enjoy creating things that keep people focused and in tasks. A lot to the templates I have created in the past worked for me and helped me to run an apartment complex successfully. 

I am offering these tmeoleates in a meeting undle package as well as individually. I didn’t see anything for people who see and craft sew…I decided to make what I didn’t see, and what I needed myself. 

I love being orgnaized. I just feel that when you are organized success is unlimited. You’re able to see direction clearly. 

View all the templates HERE.

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Sew Russia: 10 Years Ago Progress and Push

There are a lot of people who would be so very disappointed that they are not were they expected themselves to be. Honestly, for the longest time, I was one of those people. I had high expectations for myself. I expected to achieve so much. by the time I was 25. Well…now…I am 28 years old. I did not want a mediocre life. I had a list of things that I wanted. I was oh so very sure that I wanted it.

My old list consist of some of the following:

  • Bachelors Degree
  • Masters Degree
  • PHD
  • Fancy apartment in a metropolitan area over looking the city
  • I great job with a fancy title that allowed me to travel, carrying a laptop around, attend meetings, and a fancy office
  • I did not have a desire to be married. If it happened great, but it wouldn’t affect my career and goals.
  • I wanted to branch off and own my own business
  • I did not want children and if I did I wanted it to happen in my 30’s.
  • I wanted to be able to get items I liked on the spot without having to wait til next payday.

I had made up this world in my mind that I expected to live in. I wanted it and nothing else. Needless to say…that is not how life ended up being for me. I found myself full of resentment and frustration. I was envious of people I saw finishing college. I was envious of people who were getting and maintaining “good jobs”. I wanted my goals too. I felt like everyone was obtaining theirs, and I was a spectator. It felt like everyone was moving along and here I was stuck.

I felt stuck for a while. Not to mention at the time I had no positive influences around me. It was hard. It was hard for a very long time.I resented what I was going through and the people who were steering me. Most importantly, I resented myself for letting them steer me, and all of this happen. My question to myself was, “How would I could out of this?” Even scarier than that…would I come out of it, or is my fate this path for the rest of my life.

True. I look back on somethings now and realize there are something’s that I could have done better. I could have reacted better in some situations. I could have responded better in some situations, but who is perfect? We all do things that could have been better, but the question is would it have been who we are? I find that out of most people I have encountered, I beat up on myself the most. I expect so much out of myself and when it doesn’t go as planned I resent myself.

There was a long and hard road to forgiveness for me. I had to learn how to forgive myself of all people. When I looked back on my previous goals, some of my goals were pretty good. However, it would have been a very lonely one. My husband and my daughter mean so much to me. I enjoy them. I cannot imagine life without them. They are seriously my best friends above all. I had to realize somethings. I had to step back an appreciate where I have been and where I am not. It was hard, but I STILL COME THROUGH IT. Now, thats not to say that everything is so perfect and nice and neat. Where I am is a much better place than where I was. All the degrees in the world could not give me what I have now and even the knowledge that I have obtained is not taught in schools. Hell people with degrees ask me business questions all the time.

Realizing that life will not always go as planned and accepting that will free you so much. You have to start from where you are and just work your way up. There is always away. Sometimes there is always a better way. Sometimes the way that you thought you should go wasn’t what was best for you. I don’t know. All I know is that looking at how others live their lives will destroy you. They are human and they have regrets as well. We are all just learning day by day.

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Sew Russia: Where I Grew Up Gave Me Inspiration

I have LOTS of great memories growing up. My childhood was a pretty good one I can say. I grew up in two different sections of Baton Rouge, but one of them made more of an impact on who I truly am. I grew up in a small section in Baton Rouge called Scotlandville. I remember growing up with all sorts of people around. I saw entrepreneurship at a very early age. I always aspired to own my own business. I was a very good dancer. I thought I would always open up a dance studio; although I was told that dance teachers don’t make a living wage.

There was a little bit of everything to see. There was a man who owned a fruit truck that would roll by in the morning time selling fruits. I loved getting the plums. Those  were my favorite. I saw ice cream man who came in the afternoon selling ice cream. I always wanted the ice cream with the bubble gum eyes. Also, who we called the “candy lady”. She sold just about every candy product, but the real treat to all of us children, were the “dixie cups”. Dixie cups are just frozen cups of kool aid. You would pop it out of the plastic cup, flip it over, and eat it. Now, it is called different things from town to town, but here in Baton Rouge we call it Dixie Cups. Why? Because the brand of cups that we actually ate it out of is called Dixie.

There were so many examples around of entrepreneurship, although none of them were full time. I don’t think our community was truly educated on how to start and maintain a full time business of their own. You saw “side hustles” majority of the time. Also, knowledge of funding, although in the city, was not available to our community. This lead me to want to believe that we, as African-Americans could not start and maintain our own businesses as a majority. You saw the Asians with their hair stores. You saw Caucasians with every type of business you can think about, whether the bought it or started it.

There were some that were exceptions to what I just mentioned. There was this record shop called Bowies Record Shop. We loved to go there. I love music. In my opinion, music provides you a good escape from reality for a minute. We were allowed to get a cassette tape (Yeah. Those were around when I was a child) when we did good in school as a reward. Going into that shop was inspiring. The owner was friendly and there was always good service. I felt like if they could do it. So can I.

Developing and working in your gifts can open up doors for others who are watching you. You may not recognize them, but someone else is always looking for inspiration for their situation…and you just maybe it. I learned a lot of lessons even as a child that I still use today. That’s why it absolutely broke my heart to see that this store has closed. Even with that store being closed as wells as other businesses that once were African-American owned, I still have faith that it can be done. And it can.

 
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