I have learned in my adult years that there is a time and place to be nice. Being nice is not always appropriate for every setting and situation. Sometimes being aggressive, stern, and firm is necessary to protect your well being. Growing up, you hear that you should be nice to everyone you meet. You may hear that even when people are being mean to you, you should STILL be nice to them. Always be kind. In most cases we are never taught how we should deal with a situation when we are being nice, but have to deal with a difficult and/or mean person. I personally, have had to learn to master this the hard way. I am still learning myself.
It is a great trait to be nice. To have a nice heart does not mean you are weak. To be nice to someone when they are being difficult to you does not mean that you are silly. Having a great heart and a soft spot is great, but it can become a burden. It can even be unhealthy if we allow that part of us to always dominate. We have to learn when it’s appropriate to be nice, and when it’s not.
Just like children, adults will try to test you. People will test you to see how much you will allow them to get away with. People will walk all over you if you will allow them to. Everyone was not raised the same. What may be normal for them may not be normal for you. What they are ok with may not be something you are ok with. We live in a time where people either don’t know how to respect other people’s boundaries, or they don’t want to. We live in a time where people are all about themselves, and could care less to help the next person.
We are living and dwelling amongst souls that are lost, misguided, that are hurt, and that are torn. You never know what you are going to get when you meet and have to co-exist with others. Some people you can rub off on and some people cannot be touched due to the barrier that is around them. Those people, the ones with the barrier…distance them if you can. They are not interested in seeking a solution to their pain. They want to soak in their misery and take others along for the ride.
Putting your foot down does not mean that you have to get out of character. It doesn’t mean that you have to do bad things to people. It doesn’t mean you have to say bad things to people. You can firmly do what is necessary to protect your spirit and surroundings. You want to be able to affect people with your kindness. You don’t want to get infected with other people’s pain. So yes, I am saying there is such a thing as being too nice and too open. Having peace means to protect your space.