My Natural Hair Journey

How was it starting my natural hair journey? Many people look at my hair now and admire it so much. I receive endless compliments on my hair and how it looks on me. I have had people stop me out of nowhere and ask me what products do I used. I have even had people almost run me over with their buggie (That’s what we call a shopping cart here in Louisiana) admiring my hair. The journey to get to this point was all, but glamorous and pretty. It was tough actually.

I had hit a rough patch. I was 26 years old. I did not know what was going on with my body and my surroundings. It felt like everything was slipping out of my hands. It was hard to remember things. I was hard to get things on track. Finally; after all of my years of hard work and trying to prove that I was a great leader, someone had finally taken a chance on me and gave me the position as property manager. I had done well. However, I was not balancing my life well. My healthy was failing, my home was chaotic, but my financial situation was amazing and so was my property. What was more important? I couldn’t see what I was losing when I thought I was gaining.

I found myself neglecting my values and trading my beliefs to meet financial goals. If I look back on how I handled things I would truly say that I sold my soul. No one on Earth deserves that much of me. If my job needed something, I made sure that I put whatever was going on, or needed in my personal life on hold to accomplish what they needed. After all, most people act like their request just cannot wait. It has to be done now or it will be the end of the world. That’s not so true. I hate that it took being admitted into the hospital and seeing the look of fear on every one of my family member’s faces for my mentality to change.

When I went natural, I was down stairs in my kitchen. I was highly stressed. My husband was upstairs showering and I think my daughter was watching movies or sleep. I was downstairs alone. I had tears in my eyes. I was stressed and full of fear. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was not happy. I was not happy with who I had become. I took scissors to my hair. I just started cutting. I didn’t cut my hair bald, but I cut it very low. Everyone was shocked. I was relieved.

As I look back on it I realized that the cutting symbolized having to cut things out of my life in order to grow. I ended up cutting a long term best friend out of my life. It hurt me to my core, but it was necessary. I ended up quitting my job. I ended up distancing family members and blocking people who did not align with my journey. It’s not that they are bad people, but there was no alignment and I could not grow if I kept attachments that weren’t meant to be on my path.

More than anything I just wanted a good life. I wanted friends and family I could grow with. I wanted to be around people who wanted to discuss goals and dreams. I wanted to be around people who weren’t just looking out for themselves. I wanted a real career that I could thrive in. I wanted to look good and feel good. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to grow. More than anything on this Earth, I don’t want any more regrets. I don’t want to go backwards. I only want t move forward in a good way. Today I can actually that things are not perfect, but much better than they were are that point. My natural hair is more than hair to me. It symbolizes growth that I couldn’t have achieved without hitting rock bottom first.

What To Do When People Reject You.

Nobody likes rejection. Rejection can be hard for everyone. Who wants to be told “NO”? Who wants to feel like they are not valued? Does anyone like to be looked over for another person? So what do you do when these types of situations occur? You rejoice! What? You have to be thinking that I am a crazy person by now huh? No, I am serious. Be happy. Rejoice. Being rejected allows one of two things to happen. You either get to move on, or you get to prove yourself.

Build your own door! Being rejected means you don’t have to get stuck with a situation that probably wasn’t meant for you in the first place. Sometimes we think we need certain things. Sometimes we think that what we feel is best IS best. Sometimes we think that we have the right idea about our journey. The truth is, sometimes the things we want is not what we need. Sometimes what we think is best is not. Sometimes we don’t have the right idea about our journey.

We find ourselves going in one direction not realizing that it’s the wrong way. Life has a way of redirecting us and it’s not always in the most comfortable way. We have got to learn to embrace and accept rejection for our own growth. You heard that right! Rejection enhances our growth. We may not see it from the start, but as we keep pushing forward with our goals and dreams it becomes clearer.

So when people reject you embrace it. Sometimes it’s meant for you to push pass the no’s. Sometimes it is meant for you to build your own door. We all have a place here. Life is about getting to our place of purpose. Everyone wants to live in their purpose. Everyone wants to have some type of meaning to their life. Acceptance and rejection comes within our journey to figuring out our lives. Accept and embrace rejection, but don’t allow it to hold you back. Never give up. Never stop. Keep pushing forward.

Is There A Such Thing As Being Too Nice?

I have learned in my adult years that there is a time and place to be nice. Being nice is not always appropriate for every setting and situation. Sometimes being aggressive, stern, and firm is necessary to protect your well being. Growing up, you hear that you should be nice to everyone you meet. You may hear that even when people are being mean to you, you should STILL be nice to them. Always be kind. In most cases we are never taught how we should deal with a situation when we are being nice, but have to deal with a difficult and/or mean person. I personally, have had to learn to master this the hard way. I am still learning myself.

It is a great trait to be nice. To have a nice heart does not mean you are weak. To be nice to someone when they are being difficult to you does not mean that you are silly. Having a great heart and a soft spot is great, but it can become a burden.  It can even be unhealthy if we allow that part of us to always dominate. We have to learn when it’s appropriate to be nice, and when it’s not.

Just like children, adults will try to test you. People will test you to see how much you will allow them to get away with. People will walk all over you if you will allow them to. Everyone was not raised the same. What may be normal for them may not be normal for you. What they are ok with may not be something you are ok with. We live in a time where people either don’t know how to respect other people’s boundaries, or they don’t want to. We live in a time where people are all about themselves, and could care less to help the next person.

We are living and dwelling amongst souls that are lost, misguided, that are hurt, and that are torn. You never know what you are going to get when you meet and have to co-exist with others. Some people you can rub off on and some people cannot be touched due to the barrier that is around them. Those people, the ones with the barrier…distance them if you can. They are not interested in seeking a solution to their pain. They want to soak in their misery and take others along for the ride.

Putting your foot down does not mean that you have to get out of character. It doesn’t mean that you have to do bad things to people. It doesn’t mean you have to say bad things to people. You can firmly do what is necessary to protect your spirit and surroundings. You want to be able to affect people with your kindness. You don’t want to get infected with other people’s pain. So yes, I am saying there is such a thing as being too nice and too open. Having peace means to protect your space.

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Why I Didn’t Trust God

This may be the most transparent I have ever been. I did not want to admit this. I was embarrassed to write this. I was afraid, not because I was truly afraid, but because I was afraid of what people would think of me. I think that is the stupidest reason to not do something ever. Especially when there are people out there who feel the same way, but feel muted.

For years in my adulthood I did not trust God. Oh my gosh! What did she say? Yes. I said I DID NOT TRUST GOD. As a child it came so easily to me. Of course, I was still under to comfort of my mother’s care. I didn’t have much responsibility of my own. I did pay for my school, car note, car insurance, etc., but I did not have rent/mortgage or other major bills. I still had a safety net. My Mom always said, “One day you won’t have me to catch you. One day you will have to have a relationship with God on your own”. Of course, my young mind took heed, but not as much as I felt I should have.

So when it came to the time that I had to trust God to get me through hardships… I didn’t. I didn’t believe that God was for me like other people. After all, I kept seeing and hearing about everyone getting these great blessings, but not me. Why not me? I have one of the kindest hearts. I would give anybody anything. I would help anyone. I hardly ever tell anyone No. What was wrong? I questioned if there was a God at all. I thought that if I wanted something done I would have to do it myself. I had a very bad attitude about God.

I went through years of what was struggle and not overcoming. I was going in a downhill spiral, which we all feel at some point regardless of if you believe in God or not. The problem was that I wasn’t seeing these blessings I heard so much about being played out in my own life, so I became discouraged. I became torn. I had no faith. I felt like if God existed and loved me so much…why is this happening? Why is all of these things being allowed? Why are the people, who in my eyes were doing wrong, getting rewarded, and I wasn’t.

Well I realized a few things as I eventually evaluated myself and what I was doing. The number one most important thing that I hadn’t done was taken a leap of faith. God told me to quit my job. I said no. A few hours later, the same day, I got fired. I rejected my leap of faith. Second, I failed to fellowship. I had become so beaten and bruised by the words and actions of others, that I completely shut myself out from others? What do I mean? How can I possibly do that? If there was a room full of people I would purposely sit  on the opposite side. I didn’t talk to anyone unless they talked to me first. I did not go outside the house. If I was invited to events I wouldn’t show up. I did not want to talk to or communicate with anyone for fear of being hurt. I did not want to feel pain. I did not want to feel anger. I was selfish. I didn’t want to share my gifts with anyone. I knew what I possess and what I am capable of, but I did not want to share that with the very people who doubted and underestimated me. I was tired of being rejected when I know that I am great and that my skills are great. I was tired of not being given a chance. I was tired of waiting. I keep hearing these tales of breakthroughs, but I never saw them.

I stopped praying out of anger. I stopped taking care of myself. I fell into a depressive state. It was tough. My health was failing and I didn’t know if I was dying or if I was going to live. I didn’t know which direction to turn or what to do. Everything became chaotic. I felt I was losing control of everything. I did not trust God to bring me through, until I HAD TO trust God to bring me through. Today my health is getting better. I am actually making connections. I am sharing my gifts and everything that is in me. I surrendered and am taking a walk of complete faith without knowing what’s coming next. I have accomplished more in 3-4 years than I have in 8-9.

Nobody is perfect. We all fall, but we all can get up. We all have flaws, but there is beauty in the mist of the flaws. Stepping out on faith is just as much of a risk as going to college or taking on a job. I have realized this. We put more faith in things that don’t guarantee success for us, and that are possibly temporary. However, we refuse to trust the creator who created us.

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How I Would Like To Grow Within The Next Year

Within the next year I would like to see so many things happen. I have always been a believer in the impossible. I believe this is a trait that some people just have and others don’t. To be able to see the invisible I believe is as close to God as it gets. There is something special about a person who can see, and believe when everyone else around them feel that they are silly. What’s even more powerful than that is a person who still executes when the evidence of success is not there.

 

I would love to be back into making and selling my crafts 100% within the next year. I would like to see profits so that I can do things within the community. Like what? Feeding the homeless, helping families in need, making donations, donating to teens for prom and other special events via contests, etc. I would like to see my following grow in the 100,000’s on all of my social media platforms. I would like to be able to offer items at almost every price level so everybody who would like to support my brand can have a piece I had created in their homes. I would like to employ 1-3 people to help me run my sewing and other areas of craft, so that I can produce large amounts in a timely rate. I would like to write a book. I would like to have E-courses out there. I would like to go live more on social media. I would love to keep it consistent with my blog and YouTube videos.

 

I know that’s a lot, but I believe it can all be done with the right strategy. Its not enough to just have a plan, but to have consistency is key. Consistency is hard to come by. It’s hard to keep up with one thing, so imagine what keeping up with several would be like.

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Where Was I 10 Years Ago?

Where was I 10 years ago? Ten years ago I was not in a good place. I felt hopeless. I felt like my future was shattered. I felt discouraged. I felt my confidence withering away. 10 years ago was the beginning of dismantling the old me and preparing me for transformation.

There are things that I would have liked to change in my journey, but I am sure that if I did I wouldn’t be where I am today. It was hard and it was a struggle. I was super young and the direction that I wanted for myself total seemed impossible. It seemed that the dreams and goals that I and made for myself were silly and unattainable. It’s sad to look back and see myself at that type of low. I was doing all kinds of things to try to hide the pain that I was feeling.

I have learned that the best form of healing is dealing. We have to learn to deal with our pain. We have to learn how to turn our pain around for the use of good. I believe that our pain is not only ours. It’s meant to be used to empower ourselves and as well as others. I wish I would have had a different outlook on things at that time. I wish I would have caught on to all that I know now. Then again, maybe everything that is happening at this time is meant to happen at this exact moment and at this exact time.

The good news is, instead of becoming bitter about it all I choose to empower and pour positive energy into others. I know that you can’t please everyone; everyone will not agree with you, people will not always receive you and what you have to say, etc. Still, I try to be the type of person I wish I had around. Now I won’t say I didn’t have my days where I felt moody and low. Everyone goes through the motions. It’s life. Its normal, but you don’t stay there. You have to gather yourself to push through your pain.

My Biggest Regret

We all have had or have regrets. We all have things stored inside of our minds that we wish we had executed or said. No one is perfect. No one will completely get everything right all of the time. WE ALL HAVE REGRETS.

I would have to say that one of my BIGGEST regrets is giving up on my dreams to be an adult. I thought that being an adult meant that you could not do the things that were fun to you, and that came to you naturally. I thought things that came to you naturally and easy were wrong, and that it would never lead to success. I thought that life would have to be hard all of the time in order to survive it. I thought a lot of negative and wrong things.

Now at this stage in my life I think that the way that I thought then was silly and immature. I think that it was unsuccessful thinking, which was setting me up for destruction. However, looking back, at that specific time in my life I did not have positive surroundings. It can get very complex when you don’t have the right circle,  or the right people around you who believe in the same things you do. 

A lot of people think that following your dreams is a silly and tedious task that will cost a lot of money. Well, let’s look at it this way, so will going to school for 2-4 years. Even with that you’re still not guaranteed to get a job at all, or one that pays you what you deserve. It does not work like that for everyone. People are hiring people mostly for who they know, and least of all for what you know. Which I think is a HUGE gamble, because the survival of any company depends upon those who are truly qualified, and dedicated to help it thrive. Note I said thrive…not survive. Surviving means doing what it takes to make it. Thriving means to go beyond that.

So it is my promise to myself to value my own gifts and wisdom regardless of who doesn’t. I have seen more growth with starting a business of my own than I have in working for someone else. When I worked for someone my ideas were pushed aside, in some cases stolen, my intelligence was belittled, I was underestimated, I was not giving an opportunity to move up, etc. I had to fight ridiculously, and still saw no results. With my natural born gifts all I have had to do is create it, create a strategy, and put it out there.

No path is going to be all laid out for you. No path is going to be easy, but I do feel that we will be eventually lead in the direction that is meant for us, whether we reject it or not. We will have to come to peace with our destiny, and what’s means for us. I am learning that what’s meant for us is not always the pictures that are painted to us by society. It’s the pictures that are painted inside of the heart and soul.

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My Thoughts On The Orignal Black Panther Party

I watched the Black Panthers Documentary on Netflix this week. So many thoughts ran through my head about this short film. I don’t even know where to begin. As an African-American dark skin woman, I can say that there definitely are injustices and discrimination that still go on today. It’s just crazy to me. I do agree with people having the right to protect themselves from harmful environments. Not everyone has good intentions, and even good intentions don’t always come out in a good way.

I think it was very sad to see how people were being treated openly. It was sad to see one set of people trying to keep the other at ground level to satisfy their ego and well being. So they felt they had to do things that way.

However, on the upside, I think that the programs that they created were phenomenal and inspiring. It inspired me to want to be more proactive. It was beautiful seeing a community come together in fellowship. It was inspiring to see people getting along for the greater good. It was great to see the poor and unfortunate being helped against a system that was designed to destroy them. It was great to see confidence and an uprising despite the challenges that they had faced. Still today there are poor and unfortunate people that need help. It seems that in today’s society people are least like to care than they once were.

I think what everyone in this world is meant to be free. People want to be valued. People want to live a good life. People want to be respected and treated fairly. People want to be able to eat. People want to be able to raise their children in a world that is mostly good. Most people want the best and some people feel they have to step on and oppress others to get it.

This may be true, I have learned in my adult life that equality and fairness cannot be applied to every situation. How you want to be treated and what another person will allow maybe two total opposites. However, boundaries must be set and a system should be created that is in favor of all not just those who came, saw, and, conquered. I think that the Black Panthers documentary, although it did have its downsides, was a brilliant explanation of what the organization was and what it originally stood for.

The organization wanted to end street bullying (Basically). The organization wanted to help the community’s and their children. There were great motives behind forming this organization. They were fearless, courageous, and they did not have to do what they did. They wanted a better environment and world just like anyone else.

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Why It’s Important To Step Outside Of Your Comfort Zone


I will not say that I am completely perfect in this area. Getting out of my comfort zone has scared me most of my life. We all want to be comfortable. We don’t want to feel any pain. We don’t want to go through any hardships. We don’t want to struggle. Who wants to do any of that? It’s not fun and it doesn’t feel good. Why would anyone want to do that?

Well, believe to or not growth is on the other side of the comfort zone. We cannot grow if we are always comfortable. We cannot gain knowledge, connect with people, build a better life, and in some cases have fun, if we are always comfortable. Life is a balance of ups and downs. Everyday won’t be a good day. What I have also learned as an adult…every path won’t be straight and narrow. Every situation will not be laid out on the table.

Sometimes you will have to figure things out. Sometimes you will have to say and do things that are not popular. Some of the things you will have to say and do will scare the mess out of you. You will never grow if you don’t push through the fear and the “what if’s”. Our minds can play tricks on us at times. It will tell us that we are not capable of doing things and that we shouldn’t do things. We are tricked, by our minds, into thinking that is the right way to go. What I have learned in my adult years is sometimes doing the “right thing” is not the right thing.

I have learned that not all planned things are carried out successfully. You have to know how to impromptu and roll with the punches at times. Getting what you want will never be easy. It will never be a skip across a field of roses. You have to be willing to get dirty and messy (Figuratively and in some cases…literally). Getting out of your comfort zone is necessary for growth, moving forward, and accomplishing goals/tasks. You will ever know what you can become if you never get out of our comfort zone.

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Sew Russia:The Book That Influenced My Life


One of the books that has influenced my life is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.  At first when looking at the title my thought was…”I really don’t care if people like me or not.” Despite my arrogance about the title, my soul challenged me to look beyond what I was just reading with my eyes. Maybe there was a deeper meaning and something to be learned. Of course, as we all do…I had it ALL WRONG.

By no means was Dale asking you to kiss anyone’s butt. He was urging his readers to pick and choose their battles carefully. He was challenging his readers to be strategic. You know that old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey”? Everything begins and ends in the mind. I think his message overall was if we can control our minds, actions, and words; we can end up getting more of what we want than what we have been accustomed to.

I think that this book, even decades later, is pure brilliance. Personally, it challenged me to think a bit more. It challenged me to use my mind in a way that I never thought of. It challenged me to discipline my thoughts before the words come out of my mouth. Every situation does not have to be an ugly battle. I think we either lose sight of that, or some people simply just do not know that.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to change their life. I definitely recommend this book to entrepreneurs. Anyone who wants to become an influencer should read this book. This book will definitely help you gain more insight. You will see growth as you apply the knowledge given in this book.

Here is a photo of the hard copy I have at home:

Enjoy!

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