Violence is not a joking matter. My heart is broken by the number of times I have seen RIP to someone who stayed and endured domestic violence. I cannot say that I understand what goes on in the mind of a person who chooses to stay. I can say that I have been physically abused myself by my father on three occasions. Two times I was a child and had no choice in the matter. The last time I was an adult. I haven’t talked to him since, except in passing once. One time he hit me hard across my face while driving in hisEdit car. The second time he hit me across my face again more than once a night before I went to school. That time I was in High School. I went to school the next day and everyone commented on my eyes and face. They knew something wasn’t right. However, I just said that I was tired from the night before. The third time. He came over to my Mom’s house. He hit me across my face and picked me up by my shirt, and threw me into my dresser. We called the police, but before the police were called…I went for the knife, and next my Mom’s gun. I was determined to kill him. I wanted to kill him. I felt like I deserved better. I knew I didn’t deserve to be hit. I did not want to be around a person who felt comfortable enough to hit people. I don’t care how much you cannot take the heat that comes from someone’s mouth. No one deserves to be hit. No one deserves to be abused.
Verbal abuse does count as abuse and/or violence. It is the beginning stage before that happens actually. People that spew hate at you truly hate themselves, their situation, or what they have been through. They feel that they had/have no control and instead of dealing with it in a positive way, they choose to act out in anger and aggression. You cannot fix a broken person nor is it your responsibility to do so. Only they can fix themselves, but first they must want it. They must want to change and they must work towards changing. I heavily and unapologetically do not believe in people’s words. People can say one thing one day, and do another or the same thing the next day. IF HE HIT YOU ONCE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN. I REPEAT…IF HE HIT YOU ONCE HE WILL HIT YOU AGAIN.
Also, you know what I have learned about domestic violence when it comes to people looking from the outside? NO ONE GIVES A SHIT UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD! The police of course let my father go. People only looked at it as an “argument” or like “Oh that was just you and your father getting into it” What in the entire FUCK? But if the result would have been that I had died that night due to domestic violent it would have been all kinds of RIP’s and she was such a great person. There would have been mountains of woulda, coulda, shoulda’s, and lies about what people told me to do. What I have learned about personal issues is that no one wants to deal with or hear about your personal issues. Very few people step out of their comfort zone to deal with or care about the well-being of others.
You have to decide at the end of the day what is best for you. Especially if you have children. You deserve to live the happiest and most peaceful life there is. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be around people who will love and tolerate you at your best and worst. You do not deserve to be hit. You do not deserve to be torn down. Those people who you think that you need, remove them and God will show you how much you didn’t need them. Nothing is worth your life, happiness, joy, abilities. Do not give your life and energy to a person who doesn’t deserve it. No one will care about you more than you care about yourself. People in this world are looking out for themselves on a daily basis. You have to make a choice to choose better for yourself. Being tied to people who drain you will not lead to a good ending. You have to believe in yourself. You have to know who you are. You have to stop tolerating things that shouldn’t be tolerated.
I do believe that women should carry some type of protection with them at all times. Yes. To be specific, I am talking about guns, knives, and hand held tazers, not no fucking pepper spray. Yes. I had to get completely filthy in language on this blog post because sometimes saying it nice and clean gets over looked. I want you to get mad, get offended, and do something about it. This even applies to those who witness it. Encourage them to get out!
If any one is saying or doing any of theses you need to leave immediately:
- You ain’t shit.
- You’re never going to be anything.
- You won’t amount to nothing.
- You need me.
- You can’t do nothing without me.
- You can’t do anything right.
- You make me mad.
- You make me want to hit you.
- You make me do these things.
- Nobody loves you.
- I am the only one that loves you.
- You’re not going to do it.
- *Squeezing your arm (s) tight.
- *Slapping you in the face*
- *Hitting you in the face*
- *Forcing you to have sex/Forcing themselves on you*
- *Punching you in the stomach*
- *Picking you up and throwing you*
- *Shoving you*
- *Choking you*
Please! Please! Take domestic violence seriously. Believe the people who tear you down. That really and truly is who they are. They are not acting. People can say I am sorry and go right back to doing the same things the next day. You cannot be sympathetic and empathetic to people who physically and verbally abuse you. There are people on this Earth who need you and what you have to offer. Know that you are important. Get help if needed, but most importantly…GET OUT & STAY OUT!
Visit the National Coalition for Domestic Violence’s website.
For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.
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