I wish that I could say that my natural hair start was one full of optimism and joy. I wish that I could tell you that I just “wanted a new look” I wish I could *Sings* tell you something good. I can only give you my reality. The reality was I was overwhelmed, I was frustrated, I was fed up, and I was sick. It was not a pretty picture. I kind of had an Angela Bassett moment. You know in the movie “Waiting to Exhale”? I just cut all of my hair in frustration. I wasn’t happy.
I wasn’t happy with my career. I wasn’t happy with who I was, and what I was allowing to happen. My family and my health were suffering greatly for it. March 2015 put the icing on the cake, when my iron deficiency landed me in the hospital. It was the worst I had ever felt (even worst than child birth). I was slowly dying and I was so busy giving other things attention that I didn’t even notice it.
That admit into the hospital woke me up. I realized I had to make a change. It did not matter if anyone was mad at me. It did not matter if people wanted to leave. I could not just settle and take anything anymore. I could not allow people to disrespect me and I stay silent anymore. I could not let people do to me what they would not allow me to do to them anymore. I could no longer hold my tongue and not say how I felt and what I thought anymore.
I learned that I was more important than I knew. I am someone. I deserved to be cared for and to care for myself. I learned that I only have one life and none of the petty things will matter at the end of the day. I learned loyalty to self, my world, and the people in it.
So I started working on myself. Of course, I lost people, jobs, and I have cut tithes. People are not as accepting when you are completely yourself. Everyone cannot handle certain personalities. I am very outspoken, but I am respectful. I am easy to talk to, but I will not tolerate reckless behavior. I am very passionate. Anything that peaks my interest I am going to give more than 100% to it.
I love the person I have become without anyone’s approval. I am learning to create my world and the things I want. I am learning to take the right opportunity build on it. I am learning to be strong and bold as a woman that will bring other women to the top with her in her journey. What keeps me going is knowing I will be an example for others, and someone is always watching…especially my daughter.
My journey to happiness had just gotten started!